here
among
the hopers, the lovers, and the dreamers
wrapped in silk chord's
warm fire embraces
watching as leaves turn over
chapter by chapter
mapped in flames
we've travelled
tonight
flush with the slow burn
of the past
packed in shoe boxes
silver embers
ask for forgiveness.
9 comments:
NIce!
very
i was using the "view random post" generator on the alfa blog to look at old posts, and i came across one of the first poems you ever posted, and i had commented that i liked the second stanza but not the first so much. i think that i was snarkier than i meant to be.
and then people got mad at me for what they perceieved as mean-spiritedness on my part, and then some comments got deleted, and then there was a big debate about whether people should have the power to delete their own comments, or whether they should have to live with their potentially embarrassing public meltdowns.
anyway, having said all that, i like the second stanza better. i like the *idea* of the first one, but something about it feels cliched. even though i used that third line almost word for word in the beta blog description that was then subsequently deleted, igniting a debate about what... ah, never mind.
anyway, nice work. although, do leaves "turn over", or is that a tie-in to the next line, so that the leaves become pages, sort of a double entendre...?
merry xmas from the poetry Grinch.
flush with the slow burn of the past is a nice line.
I now often use the random post option on ALfA, makes me feel good to see us talking about such amazing ideas over an extended period.
And I'm all about live with potentially embarrassing public meltdowns.
:)
yeah, the random thing is somethig I found, looking for a widget. I like how it shows the post an dthe comments...and you never know what you're going to get. a whole lot like life.i dunno.
dear poetry grinch
I value your suggestions.
:)
I also remember that poem and the comments, and my demand for more detail. My first experience of the dialogue of love and discipline on the blog.
I think public potentialy embarrassing meltdowns keep you humble. I'm all for them.
yup. the leaves turn over is a play on words.
the hopers, dreamers, lovers part is a little cliche but it was said around the fire, and at the time it fit.
more like not wanting to edit a quote to stay true to the experience I guess.
anyways, merry christmas mr. grinch.
but how can there still be Christmas in Whoville when i've stolen all their GIFTS?
heh heh.
i'm in PegVille from the 27 to the 3 or so. facebook me one and all. i expect several breakfasts to happen in several different places. do they still have beer in Winnipeg?
i agree about the random thing. you could spend hours just strolling through all that work.
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