I increasingly try to write witty emails...

Hello Kind Friends,

There was a potential practice planned for this evening, which in the absence of our drummer, I believed would of have been of true importance for our recent developments in a twofold manner:

1. We could have detailed and concertized more fully our individual parts, as is really only possible without the presence of one or more members;

2. We could have spoken about how I sometimes receive the distinct pleasure of seeing our drummer's underwear when she engages with her instrument, which I must report provides me with a tremendous joy.

Nevertheless, I have spoken with Clinton this morning, and apart from the usual raspy-previous-evening-debauch-of-a-morally-impoverished-tone, he has asked that I inform you that there will be no practice this evening, as he has to attend to some duties.

I very much understand his lack of strength during such difficult times, dare I say, our chum is saving his nuts like a squirrel, so that he can purchase a wedding stone for his fashion-is-tyrannical beloved.

With my best of gratitudes, f-ck you fine friends.

CQ